Devoted readers (both of them) of my previous blog may remember the fan-favorite recurring feature Weird Things My Kids Did. The premise explains itself — my kids did weird stuff, I wrote about it. Mostly to mock them, because mocking our children publicly is a great community event. And helps me battle through the occasional fits of anger.
It’s only fair, if I mock my children, I should mock myself. Thus this new — probably recurring — feature.
I bought new running shoes around this time last year. I even used them a lot, if I am allowed to pat myself on the back. I did notice the first time I put them on, the laces were a little odd. Sort of slick and shiny, but I considered it unimportant. I was incorrect.
Every time I went for a run or a walk in these shoes, at least one of them would come untied. Every. Time. Is that the biggest setback in the world? It is not. But it’s annoying, particularly when running and you have to stop, and lose your rhythm and such. It’s annoying. Annoying enough you would think I would do something about this easily fixable situation.
New shoelaces are not difficult to find. I did nothing. I just kept running, and stopping to retie the shoes. Over and over. This was an easy problem to solve. I failed to solve it. I would always think I will address it after the run. And the minute that the run ended, I forgot.
For months. Many months. Then I finally bought a new pair of shoe laces. I didn’t replace them for a month. They were the wrong size (who knew there was such size disparity in shoelaces? Adults, that’s who).
At last, I finally replaced the shoe laces. After almost a year dealing with — or not dealing with — this nonsense I can now run extended distances with my shoes remaining tied.
The laces are the wrong color. I am a ridiculous, sorry excuse for a competent adult.
