Occasionally I will react to something in a way that is so odd I actually need to stop and have a conversation with myself. Since I now have this forum where I share the bizarre things I do and think over the course of a day, why not bring that conversation here? In this case, I’m going to share not only one weird thing, but a few of my general odd habits or thoughts that often leave me questioning my own sense of self and judgment. Now, you can be the judge!
I was buying some baby spinach at the grocery store today. I enjoy the pre-packaged baby spinach because I am a lazy person. I put it in smoothies. I put it in sandwiches for my lovely wife and darling children. Mostly I leave it in the fridge and forget about it until it goes bad.
Today as I chose my lettuce I noticed a sticker, which I have helpfully shared below, suggesting that at its current price this product was a “great value.” No, even more than that, it was a “GREAT VALUE.”
I suspect most people would see that sticker and think, “oh, that is a good price, maybe I should buy two containers.” Or perhaps, “how helpful of the store to identify this excellent bargain.”
Not this guy. I swear I saw that sticker and what immediately popped into my head was, “who are you to tell me something is a GREAT VALUE, I will be the judge of whether it’s a great value!” Then I stood there for a moment and thought…”what on earth is wrong with me”? We may never know. I really am not a combative person — in fact I abhor confrontation. But something about that sign just rubbed me the wrong way. And it’s about time someone let Big Grocery know that I will not have them dictate what is, or is not, a great value. At least I would have if I had vocalized this rather than thinking it, and then writing about it eight hours later in a newsletter.
On the subject of more weirdness, I was recently telling someone how I think we as a society place too much emphasis on round numbers — your fives and tens, etc. I would guess that’s not an unusual opinion, but what might be unusual is that every day I engage in completely meaningless protests against those numbers.
My daily alarm clock is set for 5:27. Other alarms currently on my phone that I’ve used in the past are at 2:46, 6:03, and 4:51. Any time I microwave something, I make sure to set the time for anything that does not end in a five or a zero. If I’m doing things quickly and accidentally do set a five or zero, I will clear the time and start over. These gestures clearly have no impact — I am changing absolutely nothing with these actions. No one even knows that, or why, I am doing it. Other than Caryn who appropriately rolled her eyes when I explained why my alarm is set for 5:27. It’s fine. True genius and the correctness of my position and actions are never appreciated in their time.
Speaking of time, I have an electric toothbrush. Once it is activated, it will run for two minutes, which I believe is the recommended amount of time one should brush his or her teeth. Here’s the thing — if I turn that toothbrush on, I cannot NOT brush for the full two minutes. It would feel so, so wrong to stop that bad boy before it has completed the cycle. But sometimes I don’t really want to brush for the full two minutes. That is why I used to have a manual toothbrush as well, because with that one I’m not breaking the hard and fast rule if I don’t brush for 120 seconds.
I finally (mostly out of laziness because I didn’t want to replace it after it was past its prime) got rid of the manual toothbrush. So now it’s the full two minutes or nothing. Because there is no way I’m shutting that thing off before the designated time. That sort of behavior leads to anarchy and chaos.
Is there a point to any of this? Mostly just providing some kind of warning as to the type of person you are reading everyday. Transparency is important, and if after reading this all of you unsubscribe or never read another word I write, I will totally understand.
I hear you about the electric toothbrush. I use it in the morning (for the full 2 minutes- I think I am afraid I will get shocked if I turn it off early). I use a manual toothbrush at night for decidedly fewer than 2 minutes.
You are not alone…I chuckled as I was reading bc Tim, too, will set alarms and microwaves to weird times. He also has a thing about the number that the radio volume is set at. Which, in our early years of knowing each other, I was also expected to be mindful of!